Hell’s Teeth
Tuesday, November 28th, 2006I had a couple of teeth pulled yesterday including a wisdom tooth. I’ve spent today working on my Marlon Brando impersonations now that my jaw is puffed out to where my cheekbone is, which would be fine if I had a square face but as it’s me it’s the Don Corleone look instead. Next week root treatments. Fun, fun, fun. You can just about see the gleam of pound signs in my dentist’s eyes. Amidst the pain I have to acknowledge that my abuse of the hard stuff, i.e. Irn Bru and Pepsi is partly responsible for my current malaise with my own negligence. I do the worst possible thing with sugary chemical drinks and that’s the girly thing of sipping, take a sip, put the bottle down, half an hour later another sip and repeat. I don’t like hot drinks while I’m working because the gap between sips means drinks go cold. Guys just glug down fizzy drinks whereas I bathe my mouth in acid all day, nae wunner the teeth are crumbling, the Acropolis is probably in a better state than my teeth right now. Inspite of it all I wouldn’t have changed my behaviour, I wouldn’t have swapped the sheer pleasure gained from consuming ‘ginger’ which refreshes me like no other concoction and I speak as a tee-totaller. Fair trade?





